going sTeady...

I didn't think much when I wrote about my funniest moment. How could I? How can somebody enjoy something which makes no sense to them let alone be funny. I even wrote it as a self dare just to see if I can. But I guess enough people thought it was funny. So Arun, here goes another one on paper.

This time around, Arun was visiting me in Mysore and as usual we had a great time. You see, Mysore is one of those places, which looks so ordinary and 'o my god' boring on a day to day basis but taken to the right place on the right time with (of course) the right people there is no place like it. I have even been to the exact same place twice; the first time I couldn't wait to get out, even thought to myself, if this is what they call a picnic place probably their streets would be filled with death. But the next time; it was about a half a kilometer away, the sun about to set and with a bunch of people I hold so dear. It was magic. I had one of my best times. So coming to the night in question.

Again I was (as you might guess) very tired. We both were watching TV and I dozed off. Then I was told (I didn't remember a thing until he told me the whole deal in the morning), it was about thirty minutes later that Arun had slept. He says, moments after that; I woke up, got up, turned on the light, lie down again, then woke him up and asked him why the lights were on and to turn it off. Good times, maybe scary times for him but nevertheless those were the days.

I always remember what Robin William's character says in Good Will Hunting. It goes something like this, it does not matter if you are perfect or she is perfect, what matters most is that you both are perfect for each other. And I think this holds good even between friends. We are all imperfect in our own way, maybe I should exclude Arun, I think given the circumstances he is as perfect as it gets. But seriously, you cannot find more diverse group of four, anywhere. Any given time, one of us doesn’t really understand or appreciate another's action. Vadi might not understand why I got to buy that mobile/ that car/ that bag/ that watch/ that shoes, for that matter anything. Vadi doesn’t understand why Karthik can’t/won’t make it to the LV trip. Karthik doesn’t get why Vadi wont get a girl and Arun is wondering why Karthik gets all the girls(I might be killed for saying all this) and I still can't understand why Arun had to leave because some college mate of mine is coming to town. But here is the spoiler; we have always; whatever the circumstance stood by each other. Without prejudice, without judgment, without question, without nothing.

Further more, I cannot count the number of times they have all saved me. Not just helping out with money or advice or consoling but help me in a way that gives meaning to life worth living for. When I fly they keep me rooted, when I'm distracted they keep me focused and when am down (I don’t know why but I keep remembering this) they ask me how can you say you have reached the bottom because I'm right below you pushing you up. Smile. I can go on, same as anyone of us would speak about the other.

We started out together in school, then college together, and then work together and we even stayed together. But now some of us are married, in different countries, different work life but there is a beauty in it, see fate can only take you so long; its then up to us to walk rest of the way. And so here we are ten years now, it takes a lot of effort and a lot of sacrifice but then, all this is worth it. Guys, thank you for everything; thank you for nothing. Here is another one that makes so much sense to me. "They said, I bet they'll never make it. But just look at us holding on; we’re still together still going strong"

I would be the first to acknowledge, I am imperfect in so many ways you don’t dare imagine but then again we are perfect.

the funnIEst

What is the funniest moment in my life? That’s been the question am struggling to answer for past couple of days. I can definitely tell you the most memorable, that’s got to be the trip to Kodayar hills. Yea that was amazing; let me see that was some ten years back and I still remember it so as yesterday. That’s not much but definitely qualifies as most memorable. I can try my hand at the ‘saddest’, that’s got to be a heartbreak. So there was one. Let me see, I can even come up with the ‘most absurd’. That’s would be spending all the money on lunch and traveling unreserved on a train; sleeping in the luggage rack for twelve hours straight. I can go on, If you insisit on trying me; Here goes. The ‘Most exciting’? That would have to be the first day of my first job. The ‘most romantic’? the ride to Mel Kotai and even the tough one the; ‘most embarrassing’? That’s perhaps for another time.

But now I’m having a hard time figuring out the funniest, just where did my ‘funniest moment’ go? O yea, there it is. I guess it was around four years back, and it was New Years Eve. We did the usual stuff then my roommates and I called it a day in the wee hours of the morning. I was as tired as Roadrunner must have been between takes. But my friend kept on talking, without me realizing I had slept in the middle. I woke up with a start, realized I missed what he just said and dutifully asked him to repeat himself. To which he refused and I for one who didn’t want to be pushed, came back with this imaginative yet smart reply. “Not a big deal, I would look it up in my missed calls”(for people of last generation or simply those not in touch with the world, missed calls are the list of calls which you failed to answer on your mobile phone).

Right, Accepted. I could see the frown on your faces. What a moron I got to be to come up with something so lame. I thought about making up something so cool and funny in a Vin diesel kind of way. I even contemplated of writing this and then you call reading this to be your ‘Most embarrassing’ moment. Even copying something from a 80’s edition of Reader’s Digest crossed my mind. But that is besides the point. I guess funniest need not be Jim Carreyish, in most cases it might not even make sense to others. But imagine this, after I just said that; it reached my brains of what just came out of my mouth. We both sat up laughing, laughing our arses off. This even woke up my other roommate. And it took five minutes to compose ourselves to narrate what happened then we kept on laughing.

Yup, that was the funniest moment of my life; he teases me to this very day. Even my wife to be, got so scared thinking what’s in store for her when she heard this story. Miss you guys.

The reason....

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I have this very strong feeling wash over me; that it’s been twenty five long years. Then comes the fear of facing another twenty five odd vacant years if god would be so kind to put a stop to this misery by then. You would start wondering, if I would go on about my tortures life filled with painful events. That’s not the point. I’ve had my heart breaks and I’ve had my happy moments as anybody. I’ve amazing parents, to whom I’m ever grateful. I’ve my friends, the ones who have left me and the ones who have stood by me for all my adult life. Life has kept me occupied with its unforgettable happiness and cruel sorrows. I’m a normal person with a normal life.

Then why this misery? Why do I feel so strong about things like these? Why? When I see a child, I feel pity. Thinking, poor thing you didn’t have a choice. That’s it, choice or the lack of it. Think about it, do you real have a choice? Everything in our life is about ones action to other’s reaction. We react; we don’t choose.

Then comes control, we have been brought up thinking we control our destiny. But not even your birth is in your control so where do I go from here. Since we are ruled by our emotions nothing is under our control. From the time I wake to the time go back to sleep, I’m controlled be an alarm clock to the fact that another alarm clock is going wake me up early the next day.

My best friend has a simple answer for this, God. In a way I see his point. When you stop analyzing things and place your unadulterated faith in something, you get back the magic. The illusion of choice and control. Life goes back to its brilliant form. Now hold your horses, I see another problem actually a very big problem.

I believe in God, whatever form he might be. I don’t question the validity of any mythological believes. But if I believe God is such a supreme being, I don’t understand why we would be important in his eyes. Why would he care, even if whole of humanity ends? In his eyes why should I be any different than an ant? Then I can’t shake this feeling, that this is our arrogance and stupidity, same as to think we are the end of these billion years of evolution, same as to think this whole planet is for our intent and purpose.

Now am back to square one, let me come to the point. Now that am here, lets forget why and focus on how. How do I have a happy life? Not skin deep but happy in my soul. I’ve searched this answer all my life, knowingly or unknowingly. Then I got it when I first fell in love. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. Love has given a meaning to my soul. To say I would end my life for it would be besides my point, I would live for it.

Now am in love again, I know the road is hard and twisty. But it gives me that meaning, that sense of belonging. It tells me that am no different. Above all it gives me that choice and that control. I know, choice is an illusion and control is a fairytale. But now I could live in that fairytale.

Fear gives men wings

Pain makes us appreciate happiness better. It seams without the dark side life becomes monotonous. People dream of a beautiful world, the god’s own backyard where innocence is never lost; where anger never materializes, where tears never fall and pain never felt. We hail the return of the son of god; we wait in anticipation for the rebirth of a pure soul. We want them to eradicate the evil and reward the good. We want them to show us a better life, No pain. In all we embrace a perfect world.

In reality, our subconscious won’t take it. It would reject it with the same vigilance as it fights a disease. It would need the circle of life, a balanced equation. When we have Christ, we need an anti-Christ.

But world is moving towards a better life, one might argue of the moral corruption and AIDS and terrorism and Bush. Right all this has made a mockery of human values but in general our life has become better. Women have an equal say in most part of the world, death by unnatural causes has gone down considerably. The list goes on. Countries are moving forward, we no more have a single super power. We are entering a multi powered era. Our life style has become more comfortable; humans enjoy more and suffer less. Technology is more affordable. In all we have started to feel less and want more.

Deep down this worries everybody. Even when I want everybody happy, why would my soul reject it? Why do I appreciate a Mohammed Ali better than a Lenox Lewis., Maybe harder times test ones character. Hence we are awed by a broken champion who stood his ground than one who won everything and had everything. Maybe we don’t need a perfect world but a will to handle imperfection better.

Then I need pain to define myself, hardship to make me a better human. We know saints who gave up all. They go through a life of hardship, a life of devotion, a life of passion. Then I wonder, what gives them the purpose, the cause for such a selfless sacrifice, not just their life but also the lives around them. Since I know there can’t be a perfect world, heaven as you call it. I know, a better a pure life is not the force behind such an inhuman devotion. I wonder, is this really a devotion to a superior being asking for a life without pain. Then it hit me, it’s not the passion at all; it’s the fear. Fear which give men wings.

Its fear which motivates them, its fear that keeps them going on through their hardship. It’s the fear of going through all this all over again. Pain is a powerful motivator, since we are blessed with a sixth scene. We now no more just feel pain but understand it.

Hush-Hush Baby the cradle will fall

Hush-a-bye, Baby,
On the tree top,
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall,
Down will come baby,
And cradle, and all…

… I’m standing here! On the mountain high,

Gentle breeze kissing goodbye

Feeling so hot, burning inside

Wanna cry, there is no shoulder insight

Wondering when, when the laughter had died

The sky is clear, the moon is bright

I’m standing outside heaven’s door

Knocking it down, crying ‘Let me inside’!!!

Hush Hush baby, the cradle will fall.

I want to spread my wings and fly…

I want to spread my wings and fly

To soar across the sky

The whole world is mine

But I'm trapped inside

Words escape my mouth, with a cry

Why me o! Lord why?

Give a strong soul a weak heart

Which can love but never part

They say you work in mysterious ways

Ill call you a cheat, to your face.

Muhammad Ali

Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.

- Muhammad Ali

In the year 1942, at about 6:30 p.m. on January 17^th, nature delivered a boy, who was to be named Cassius Clay, little did it know that he would latter become a 3 time heavyweight Champion, an Olympic gold medallist, military-draft resistor, a poet, a wit, a black-rights advocate, a philanthropist and one of the most recognizable faces on earth. He was born to Odessa Clay and her husband Cassius Marcellus in a little town called Louisville, Kentucky. His father painted religious and commercial plates and his mother worked as a cook and a cleaning lady to the upper-class whites.

His first knockout punch was against his mother when he was just 6 months. He punched so hard that she had to pull out 2 teeth. His first coach was a police officer Joe Martin, who also owned a boxing gym. He met him by chance, when he lost his new bicycle. Martin realized that Clay had very unorthodox style of boxing. He used his hands not as guard but held them at waist height while avoiding the punches of his opponent just with his reflexes and footwork.

In 1960 Clay won the gold medal in Rome Olympics. He defeated Pole Zbiginiew Piertrzkowski of Australia - a veteran of more than 200 fights. Clay, already the nation’s pride looked for a new coach. His father disapproved of Martin and Clay refused Archie Moore, who tried to change his game. So Angelo Dundee became his coach. By the end 1963 Ali had about 19 bouts and had won them all, 16 of then where knockouts. His most interesting fight was against his former coach Archie Moore. Clay had a habit of predicting how his matches would end. He would even predict the round in which he would knock his opponent out.

In the same year he met Drew "Bundini" Brown, who became his motivator, court jester and a life long friend. Together they invented the phrase ‘Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee’ that best described his boxing style. The "Louisville Lip" was 21 year old and was ready to achieve the goal for which he had lived almost all of his life - the World Heavyweight Championship.

Sonny Liston, who had lost only once as a professional boxer, was the world champion then. On February 25, 1964, the night of the fight, Liston entered the ring a seven-to-one favorite. Clay danced around the flat-footed champion the whole time, landing lightning-fast jabs and combinations again and again. At the beginning of the seventh round, Liston refused to resume the fight. After the fight Clay said “I’m 22. I’m the champion of the world and I don’t have a single mark on my face. Surely I should be the greatest boxer ever”. Such was his confidence!

In the same year he made speculation a fact when he changed his religion to Islam and called himself Cassius X and latter Muhammad Ali. Muhammad means praiseworthy and Ali means most high - Clay meant dirt. He was inspired by the words of his friend and mentor Malcolm X. Muhammad Ali was a true champion. The people’s champion but he never did it the people’s way he did it his way. Almost always his way was the people’s way.

Ali, for the first time, defended his title in a rematch with Liston. He knocked him out with a ‘phantom punch’ in the first round that the whole world saw except Liston. By the end of 1967 Ali successfully faced 8 challengers including "the octopus" Ernie Terrell who held the WBA’s version of the title. Before the fight Terrell refused to call Ali by his new name as a result Ali kept yelling, “What’s my name, uncle Tom!” through out the fight, while he thrashed him around. The fight against Zora Folley was to be his last fight for a long time.

On April 28^th 1967, he refused a military call to fight in the Vietnam War. The whole world asked WHY? He answered, “I won’t help murder and kill poor people. If I want to die I’ll die right here fighting you. You are my opposer when I wanted justice, you are my opposer when I wanted freedom, you are my opposer when I wanted belief and you want me to go somewhere and fight for you when you won’t even stand up for me right here in home”. They lowered the boom; he was stripped of his undisputed title, his license to fight. They took away his boxing, his art, his money, his religion, but they could never put out the raging fire in his heart. The storm was put on the hold but was waiting to blow the world over.

And it did blow in 1970, when his management got back his license to fight although the US Supreme Court had not judged yet whether Ali was guilty or not. His first fight was against Jerry Quarry in Atlanta on October 26, 1970. He had an unconvincing win by knockout in 3. On March 8^th 1971 Ali met Joe Frazier who was the then Champion of the world. That match was dubbed ‘The match of the century’. Ali, for the first time in his professional carrier was defeated. He lost to ‘Smokin Joe’ on points in the 15^th round.

After this stunning defeat came one of the significant victories in his life. He was unanimously declared not guilty for refusing the military call. He was given back his passport and license. But he had to get what was rightfully his - ‘The World Heavyweight’ title on his own. For the next 21 months Ali banged around 11 challengers with only one thing in mind - a rematch against ‘Smokin Joe’. Ali didn’t get more than $500,000 for any of these bouts.

His next opponent was to be Ken Norton, an absolute no name. Ali didn’t take the fight too seriously and trained just three weeks. This arrogance led to Norton breaking Ali’s jaw in the second round and winning the fight on points. It was incredible that Ali continued for ten rounds with a broken jaw but in the end it proved to be a fruitless effort. Ali was ahead by one point on the scorecards before the last round, but Norton won the last round and the fight.

After this defeat that had been even more painful than the one against Frazier, Ali was down on the floor and not many people thought that he could ever rise again. Ali did the unthinkable he came back and won the rematch against Norton. It was time for revenge. It was time for the next Ali – Frazier duel. Although this time it wasn’t as good as the last one, Ali won by points in the 12^th round. But Ali had only his honor to fight for because Frazier had lost championship title to a young man named Gorge Forman. Ali – Forman fight was thus unavoidable.

When the two heavyweights entered the ring on October 30, 1974, in Zaire, for the ‘Rumble in the Jungle’ out of sixty thousand African throats came the slogan "Ali, boma ye!” meaning "Ali, kill him!" and kill was what he did. Ali knocked out Foreman in the 8^th round to regain what was his property, his life - ‘the World heavyweight title’. After the match Ali kept yelling to his critics, “Eat your words! Eat your words! I am the greatest”. Ali then went on to defeat Joe Frazier for the third time. In the 13^th round he punched Frazier 43 times in 6 minutes. Shortly after his victory was announced, Ali fainted in his corner. He would later say that this fight had been the closest to dying he knew of.

After reigning as the world champion for over 4 years, he lost his title for the first time in his carrier to Leon Spinks only to win it back for the record 3^rd time. In the ring after the victory he shouted out to his friend Howard Bingham “Write in my biography, here ends his career”. But he came back after two years, Why, ego? Defiantly not, finance? Maybe. He had 40 or odd person to take care of, and boxing was the only way he could make money- a lot of them. He was paid 8 million four times as much as Larry Holmes – who in the meantime had become the world champ. Training for it Ali lost 38 pounds, He was 216 pounds and looked his best. But the inside was empty. What many thought was vitamin that Ali was taking was in fact a pill to control Parkinson’s syndrome. It was a surprise to many how Ali could even walk let alone box. But the invincible Ali went on only to be knocked out for the first time. After the fight, hardly able to move, he was placed in an ambulance. He wiped the tears off Howard’s face and whispered, “Don’t cry Howard; don’t cry. I’m still Ali”.

At last as fate would have it, Ali lost what no boxer on earth could take from him, his body and his boxing, to nature. He was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. He says “God gave me this illness to remind me that I'm not number One; he is; He tries you good and bad. I’ve never asked ‘why me?’ about anything”. With only his heart and mind under his control he set out on a new mission, to help and nurture his race - The human race. In the summer of 1986 Ali married long-time friend Lonnie Williams. Many intimates of the couple agreed that Lonnie was "the best that could happen to Ali". She was his third and last wife. When asked what his wife meant to him, he said “Everything”.

Muhammad Ali appeared on the global stage in 1990 when he freed fifteen U.S. hostages from the Iraq during the Gulf crisis. Ali was once again ‘The Greatest’ when he lit the Olympic fire in Atlanta in 1996. The confident way he presented himself, despite trembling heavily, impressed millions around the globe. Now at the age of 60 he is a slow motion version of his former self, but make no mistake, Muhammad Ali is in there – all of him. He never lost a fight he thought he would win. In an age were most of us were still in dippers; he knew exactly what he wanted out of life. Now he wants to be know as a man who took a few cups of love, one teaspoon of patience, one tablespoon of generosity, half a liter of kindness and stirred it up well and served it to each and every deserving person. As his close friend and TV reporter Howard Bingham said, “He is exactly what he said he was THE WORLD’S GREATEST”.

The story of the greatest.

Murugeyson Ramasuwame.